There is a lot of talk about purpose, personal legends and divine assignments that have led me to dig deeper into my own self, and allow my purpose to be revealed. For years I wandered around my life looking for its purpose and never found it. I really only knew one thing for sure, and it was simply that I was not here to exist and live a comfortable, easy life. Constantly, I asked myself, “What am I meant to do here”? It never occurred to me to take a step back from my present life for just a moment and journey back into my earlier years. Was there something in my childhood that could spark my longing to know why I was here? Could my early years lead me to understand my purpose as I evolve and grow? I have come to know the answer for myself and it is a definite YES!
As a young child I was not exposed to much of the outside world which I am grateful for. I lived on a farm with my family in the central region of Florida. My parents made sure my sister and I were well educated, traveling almost an hour to school each day. Before school chores consisted of early 6 am wake up calls to clean stalls and feed the horses. Summers were spent with our hands in the dark, rich soil picking the produce my father grew as a side business. We were a family operated farm that harvested corn, okra, watermelons, cantaloupes, beans and black-eyed peas for local farmers markets. From a young age I knew the meaning of hard work and getting my hands dirty, really dirty. What was revealed to me in those moments would unknowingly stay with me for a lifetime and only recently I have come to honor them as a part of my ever-evolving assignment here on earth. My horses meant everything to me. When I was 7 years old, I purchased my own pony, a blue-eyed beauty I named Poncho. Together we journeyed through forests, old barns and swamps having no fears or thoughts of believing anything negative could come out of our experiences with one another. We were truly best friends and we both knew it. I cared for him and he cared for me.
As I look back to those moments today, I am flooded with a wave of realization regarding my purpose. As simple as it sounds, I am here to care for others, and to extend compassion to everyone I meet. Along with my family, I cared for the harvest, over 100 hundred acres of healthy produce created and sustained by nature. Ever since I was very young I was taught to care for other people and honor their journey with respect. Most of all, I was taught to be honest and share with others everything I had whether it be money, clothing or food. Self -preservation was never a part of my inner interior motive. I never learned that only taking care of myself was the ultimate task in life. Neither was being wealthy or famous. After all, I had more than enough substance in my life as a child. I was surrounded by things that truly made me live from the center of my heart like family, horses, self-respect and a deep relationship with nature.
It never occurred to me until I got older that I might not be enough for this world. I might not be smart enough to compete with the Ivy leaguers. Perhaps my looks may close the door to where only pretty people are allowed. Today, I realize all these false concepts I learned somewhere along the way, after the farm where I was able to express who I was without hesitation. I got older and the need for acceptance and approval snuck in like a slippery snake. Becoming aware of my codependent moments, I was awakened in a way where I worked through them and today I choose to see them as teaching moments I learned so much from. Today I choose to share those lessons with others through my blog as well as those whom I mentor, revealing to me my purpose more and more.
Going back to my childhood days has revealed to me many aspects of myself that I take forward in my life. While my purpose is still brewing within me I feel it is very close to being poured out through me. There is no use in forcing it to come out just as we cannot make a rose bloom by peeling the petals back with out bare hands. Allowing the natural flow of life to take its course and trust in the process is not an easy thing to do. For me, I want to feel like I am doing something NOW. Along my journey I have come to know within every present moment our purpose being reveled to us silently and when we are still enough to receive it, it will bloom within us. Just like the okra and the corn, our harvest will take place in due time. We will meet “it” again just like the orange tree invites the fruit to extend from its limbs season after season.
I encourage you to take a journey back to your happy childhood days where your days were filled with blissful moments that you truly felt authentic. Keeping in mind we all had moments of meltdowns and restrictions as children, but let us not dwell there; let us honor them with acceptance. In stillness, take yourself back to the days where you felt most alive and keep that moment in your heart as a seed of knowing. Your heart will reveal to you everything you need to know, and I think you will be amazed at what you remember because after all….it is not that we don’t know something, we just forgot somewhere along the way. It is important to remember these attributes don’t only belong in our childhood memories, they are a part of us that will never leave us no matter what age we are.
We can empower ourselves by remembering since our earliest days our purpose was within us, just like a seed it takes time to come to fruition and when the harvest time comes we can share it with the world. We are here for a reason, and when we step out of the way our divine assignment can flourish, but we must become willing to humbly accept our greatness.
Thank you for being here,