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Going with the flow in Flagstaff

I like to live in a clean house. I like an organized kitchen drawer so when I need something I know exactly where to find it. Most of all, I love control but not nearly as much as I used to. There was a time when I would not leave the house without a detailed plan of action. I was detailed and controlling and I felt safe knowing I was going to achieve what I had set out to do and therefor, be perfect. Yay!? Not so much. I won’t go into details in this post but after many years of deep inner work and Self discovery my life is much different. Control isn’t something I crave or desire and I couldn’t be more grateful.


What I have come to realize today it is not a lot actually, it isn’t super insightful but it works for me: as soon as I begin to control my environment my entire spirit for life disappears. The usual creative flow is stagnant like pond water on a steamy summer day in Alabama. Why would I continue to do something that does me no good? It’s simple; it was all I knew. Until….I knew more.

This new level of consciousness was apparent to me last week when Timm and I decided to take a trip to Flagstaff around midday. It was the first time I actually let go and just went with the flow, consciously. I was aware of my need to make a plan, find trails to hike and figure out exactly how to get there but I let it go. There was a feeling within me that just wanted to let go and allow the day to evolve the way it wanted to as opposed to the way I wanted it to. To those of you who know me, this is a huge step. While I have had moments in the past of letting go of the bigger things that make a deeper impact I still struggle to let go of the little things that could possibly make the day less stressful. The organized and tidy side of me is one of my favorites, and I am not going to judge myself because some call that controlling, I call it aware.

As we prepared the car with the essentials for hiking such as water, dog leashes, fruit, hats and sunscreen I felt as though the fog had lifted and I wasn’t just keeping myself busy. I was living. We were living life and allowing the moment to flow. Do you know this feeling? Goodness is it ever amazing.


We arrived in beautiful Flagstaff without a clue of where to go. It was about to pour down with rain and we had no umbrella; which I embraced because I have learned to love the rain andthe way it feels on my face. I was excited to explore the mountains and forests with Timm and our dogs. I am blessed to be with a man who is naturally free flowing and I don’t even think control is a part of his inner vocabulary. Timm has certainly taught me a lot about allowing life to unfold. For once, I let go and what was let in was an overwhelming feeling of love for the moment. After we began walking I started to feel the way the ground under my feet felt, it wasn’t hard, it was soft yet strong. Have you ever noticed the way the forest floor sounds when you walk? The wildflowers were blooming in all sorts of hues of purple,red and yellow. The pine trees were something out of a fairytale with their tall trunks and mushrooms growing off the sides. Birds sang songs and all around us were yellow butterflies. The rain fell on us as we stood under a giant pine tree and when the hail started we just stood there in silence appreciating nature. Sounds like a dream, right? Our day in Flagstaff was dreamy but it was also very real and I realized I had been allowing so much to pass me by just in order to stay in control.


We don’t have to give up control completely-it serves many of us in several ways that keep us on track. There will always be a detailed part of me and that is because I am dedicated to excellence and there is nothing wrong with that. Letting go is the best thing I have ever learned to do and while I haven’t mastered it by any means I am aware of when control rears its head. I just remind myself to do my best. Isn’t that all we can ever do?


Do you find letting go difficult? As you may know by now I do not give advice on this blog. I will never give advice because how do I know what is best for you? You know what is best for you. May I offer one mantra to guide you just a little? Here it goes: JUST DO THE NEXT SINGLE THING. When the mind starts to pull hard and the need to control a situation arises keep breathing and know you are not alone. Many of us do this-you are not defective in any way. Silently, I repeat the mantra Moe gave me three years ago which reminds me to stay present and just do the next single thing that will lead me to a place of inner peace. I hope that helps, it is somewhat miraculous for me! It is amazing what happens when the mind is given a chance to release and relax, it seems the body follows naturally.


What are your steps to going with the flow? Are you a detail oriented person who likes to hold the reins? I am interested in how others create flow in their lives and how it enhances their moments….please do share if you wish.




All photos are my own.


  • August 21, 2014 - 5:28 pm

    Julie - Wow Jocelyn, what a beautiful story! I felt like I was with you in all aspects of your journey! Thank you for sharing. Hugs and kisses from sunny Spain xxxxReplyCancel

    • August 22, 2014 - 3:36 am

      admin - Sweet Julie, oh how I miss seeing you and laughing as much as we did! Thank you for stopping by and visiting me here. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you feel my arms around you! With love, Jocelyn xReplyCancel

  • August 21, 2014 - 5:35 pm

    Janet Justice - Beautifully said and written!!!ReplyCancel

    • August 22, 2014 - 3:35 am

      admin - Thank you for your thoughtful words, Janet! Jocelyn xReplyCancel

  • August 21, 2014 - 11:34 pm

    mel - Oh Jocelyn such lovely words and images. I would love to go to Flagstaff, what a magical place. I’m actually working on both ways at the moment. Professionally I needed to bring much more control and structure to my day. I was once a pretty organised person and a little controlling also yet with each child, my standards dropped, probably for my sanity. But what I need to do is go with the flow with the moments with loved ones and some time out for me and bring more control and structure around the rest which will allow me to be more focused, organised and experience less stress. Hugs to you xx MReplyCancel

    • August 22, 2014 - 3:39 am

      admin - Hi Mel, I love your honesty and humble approach to life. I always learn something valuable from your comments so thank you for this one! It is so easy for others to say “just go with the flow” but my truth is IT”S HARD! and, I can do hard. It sounds like you have come to your own answers which is beautiful…just beautiful. Thank you for stopping by! With love, Jocelyn xxReplyCancel

  • August 22, 2014 - 2:20 pm

    Rachael - Currently struggling with letting go. I am a recovering alcoholic so control is in my DNA and I have to practice letting go daily.. some days are more difficult than others. It is also the little things I find I holds onto the tightest. There are days when I organize and re organize book shelves to try to feel in control. I think what i appreciated the most was that you said that you are “dedicated to excellence” and you are doing the best you can. I’m still in a place of judging myself, being hard on myself. Thank you for sharing your journey. Great advice from moe, next right thing. XoReplyCancel

    • August 22, 2014 - 2:24 pm

      admin - Hi Rachael, thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. Your courage to be so real is admirable and you are giving others a chance to learn, I really appreciate that! I can remember organizing bookshelves over and over again as well in hopes it may look absolutely perfect. I will say the more silent I became the more I was able to hear the voice within which became my guide. Thank you for sharing your truth and this part of your journey. Please do come back and visit! Now….next single thing….Jocelyn xxReplyCancel

      • August 27, 2014 - 3:33 am

        Tamara - Love your truth , story ,, insight & transparency .. ❤️ You & thank youReplyCancel

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