“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you COME ALIVE and go do it, because what the world needs is people that have come alive.”
~Dr. Howard Thurman
I always wanted to be a writer, but my lack of experience held me back. I always wanted to share, but my lack of courage weighed on my shoulders. Speaking in front of others just wasn’t something I ever saw myself doing. I was afraid of being judged and criticized. That is, until I became aware of how my story could help and inspire others who had also lost all hope in returning to who they really are.
Along with Moe Ross, my mentor, we are writing a book about my journey of being lost in another man’s world and the world of material wealth. My intention is to share my story from my experience, it is my truth, not his.
Excerpt from book : In this book, Jocelyn Hefner shares her personal crucifixion and resurrection. She heard an inner call to live her own dreams, but she did not answer the call. She was caught up in the extravagant lifestyle, the six-thousand dollar dress in the green-leather-lined dressing room in Harrods, flying in private jets, staying in some of the most beautiful hotels on golf courses around the world, and the compulsion to stay by his side so no one else would be. This story is a powerful testimony to the seduction of the material world, the fear of losing her “man,” and the price we pay for not listening to and actualizing our own dreams. This intimate and personally revealing story with the PGA and European Tour as the backdrop, offers a wide view into Jocelyn’s inner life behind the scenes of her journey with a professional golfer and the tours. This is also a story of the journey of meeting Moe, the woman who took her hand and helped her to remember who she really is and return to living a deep and meaningful life.
It was a crisp October day in Illinois as Moe and I were having a conversation about my story. I remember the moment when we realized my story might help others. Neither of us knew the journey it would take us on, and today we both feel this is just one way we are giving back to a world that has given us so much love.
As we began the process of “telling the story” I wrote down every memory, tournament, celebration and meaningful moment from the years 2001 to 2011. I cried and laughed during most of it, and after 15 hours, my story of my life with Paul Casey was recorded. This process was sacred and meaningful and difficult. As I recalled memory after memory, I could see how one decision led to another and how grateful I remain for what I learned on our journey together.
Excerpt from book:
So it was. I was living in a gorgeous, immaculate house. He was gone. The life we had created together was over. My fear of not being enough and losing him had come true. He promised there wasn’t another woman; I was not a “bad wife” it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t believe him. It didn’t matter.
My fear of not being enough and losing him had come true. He promised there wasn’t another woman; I was not a “bad wife” it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t believe him. It didn’t matter.
Lying in bed, it felt like a thousand voices were in my head; all of them screaming that I failed. I didn’t do it right. I didn’t do enough. I did too much. I was pathetic. I remember wanting my coach to tell me I had not failed. Please tell me he was a jerk. While anger did not surface at this time, I gave myself permission to be angry.
The lights went out in my life. Despair is despair whether you are living in luxury or are homeless on a sidewalk. Despair is deep inside of us and has very little to do with what it looks like on the outside. There’s just no winning with any talks about despair. It’s a dark place. It’s hell. When the lights go out, it doesn’t matter whether you are in a mansion, in a hotel room, or under a bridge. There is no darkness like the cave of despair.
As we wrote the story, our collaboration felt like two women weaving a beautiful fabric. I saw how until I had “righted” my life, we couldn’t “write” it.
While working/writing together, I saw that working in a tolerant atmosphere allowed my creativity to flow naturally.
I stopped worrying about criticism from the public and instead found myself being mindful to be honest and respectful to the journey.
When my son was born, I looked into his sweet eyes and his face, and once again remembered my purpose in life. The book of my story is just another birthing of aspects of me. The “labor pains” are ones I wouldn’t trade for anything.
My prayer is that we all birth something new every single day…..
The release date of the book will be announced; however, let me know if you want me to let you know personally, before the public announcement.
Blessings to us all.
Excerpts from the book are italicized.