I was recently watching a show about a celebrity who is currently going through a rough patch in life and her way of healing was to share her story. Television has never offered me much unless it is a story of transformation or healing. This “reality” show I am watching right now really opened my eyes to what some people do not receive when it comes to times of trouble. During my time of intense healing I was fortunate enough to have a coach and a therapist to help me through the toughest time of my life. I was given the opportunity to be surrounded by help and I sure needed it. As my heart felt heavy watching this poor young woman being ripped apart by her friends and close family for not using her voice I realized some people don’t always have the support system I had. This show does not reveal one single person who just supports her, they are all shouting at her telling her what she isn’t doing and what she should be doing. My focus is not on this show, I am more interested in humanity and what part I take in being supportive to my friends or loved ones.
I am amazed every day how much advice people give when it isn’t asked for. This is probably because not giving advice or my opinion (unless asked for) is a practice I have incorporated into my practice for the past three years; yep, three years. When I began my journey to returning to my real self I had to look at the parts that were ugly-you know, those parts that don’t serve us? One of mine was giving my opinion. I used to tell everyone and anyone what they should be doing because I truly felt I knew what was right. Boy was I ever mistaken. Moe, my mentor gave me an assignment, which was to not give my opinion for twenty-four hours. At first I thought it would be easy peasy. I was wrong, again. I realized how much I gave my opinion and advised people on my “knowledge” rather than sharing my experience. As I watched the television show I was talking about earlier, I realized how prominent this is today in our world. So where do people go when they want a silent “treatment” or support system? I think I found an option this morning, it free and beautiful, it is nature.
I wanted to take myself out on a little date, just me and me. I went to my favorite little breakfast place across the street from our apartment in Hamburg called Mutterland. After I ate my delicious meal I went on a walk in our little neighborhood and found a small park just down an alleyway. As I entered the park I took notice of the pink and white roses that seemed to cover the entire ground like a blanket. Dogs were running around playing with sticks and the birds were singing a lovely song. It was peaceful, still and pleasant. Just being in this park was like sitting in a sanctuary of love and healing power. I felt fine when I arrived but I noticed how light I felt as I left. I experienced meditation in a new way, my mind wasn’t running around and my feet were not trying to run to the next place. I was at peace and conscious of it, but I didn’t have to do something in order to create this feeling. It just happened.
When I returned home from the park I sat down on my couch and downloaded the photos I took of the roses. When I looked at them on the screen I instantly felt supported and peaceful. I immediately thought of this actress on the show and how I wanted to pull her out of the television and bring her to a garden. I realize that is not the answer for everyone but I wonder if it would help some people who don’t have a support system?
Naturally, I wanted to relate nature to support and what came through to me was interesting. When we look at a flower, we are looking at our reflection. We are nature, are we not? I believe we all have the desire to bloom and share our fragrant petals with the world. Nature has a way of telling so much that words cannot express. We have roots, we have a destiny, we have supportive nutrients and we have a purpose just like a rose.
I am interested in knowing how you support your friends. Do they ask your advice or do they ask you to listen? Would you like to join me in the challenge of not giving your opinion for one day? If someone asks your opinion you respond with a question to allow him or her to come to his or her own answer. If we can cultivate more children and adults in this world that know how to come to their own answers we will see a different world. At least this has been my experience and that is all I can live from.
Wishing you all a supported and wonderful week,