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The 48 hour Lesson: Allowing another the freedom to BE

There are many persons who, out of the goodness of their hearts, want to see their neighbors flourish, not realizing what a dishonor they are doing by interfering in their personal journey and freedom to be who they are.


The last few weeks have been what I would call enlightening but before they came to be “light” they were dark and heavy. Life is not always milk and honey and for this I am grateful. It has been my practice over the last few years to recognize when I live in moments of duality; good/bad, right/wrong or easy/hard. In my short time of practicing this main principle in my life I have come to see where living and breathing in a world of duality has been my main source of sadness, pain, discomfort and lack. It is not always easy to live without thinking in terms of duality but, I am getting there, one day at a time my consciousness is shifting in a way I never knew possible.

When I slow down enough to realize the shift that has become a more natural part of my inner interior I am in awe of how my mind has become less of the Master. My mind had been on autopilot for years through cultural conditioning and religious beliefs. It is hard to believe I actually thought at one time that wearing white after Labor Day was “bad” and that if I lost a “friend” on Facebook I wasn’t worthy of being someone’s friend. I was experiencing a world through my conditioned mind and it was in desperate need of some shampoo, the strong stuff that strips away all the build up.

Allowing Someone to Fall is a GIFT.

I like to call the new way of viewing the world “fruitage”. When a tree is rooted deep in the earth it has an opportunity to receive all the goodness from the minerals and mother natures vitamins, right? Does an orange tree need to be told when to produce fruit? No. Does a ripe lemon need to be connected to its source to come to life? Yes. Today, I have come to know my journey to this point has been to realize this fruitage and share it with the world in whatever way I am led. When I am connected, still and aware I can produce fruit and that can look like acceptance, love, lack of judgment and in my most recent experience, allowing someone the freedom to be who they are which is what led me to this post in the first place.

There is someone in my life that I care deeply about and want to see her succeed more than anything in the world. I began noticing a few things about this person that made me feel sad and I immediately found myself wanting to dive in and rescue them from their choices. To watch someone live in denial is one of the hardest things I have ever done. As I watched myself become more involved in the “story” I was creating and actually started to plan some sort of intervention I paused and listened within for 24 hours. I needed 48 in the end but what I came to was this: I am not here to rescue anyone, no matter how dire the situation is. (I do believe when children are directly involved then action is necessary.) It is not my responsibility to show someone what they are doing that could drastically change the course of their life. Does this sound like something we are taught to do? I don’t know about you but I was never taught to sit back and watch someone hit rock bottom. Please understand I have always been a helper-even when no one was asking so this situation has been very difficult for me. In my knowing, it is dangerous to step into someone’s world and tell them what they should and shouldn’t be doing. I am not the person for that. They have a Soul and I am not it. When the desire was removed to help a weight had been lifted off of me and I felt a sense of inner peace I had not felt for those long two days. Like I said, she has a Soul, a Comforter, Creator, God, whatever you want to call it….and I am not It. Merely my belief that she will come to know her own answers was my version of helping her as strange as it may sound.

It may seem harsh or even unkind to allow someone who fall or hit rock bottom but at the end of the day it is really the only thing that will catapult them to knowing who they really are. My personal experience was just that, I had lied to myself for years thinking I could stay in a relationship and sell my soul at the same time. I was eventually taken under the waves and hit rock bottom. Looking at every wound deeply and gaining the tools to help heal them was my only way “out” of that way of living. It was only until then I began to journey into a new vision for my life. I am so glad no one saved me or tried to rescue me. It was necessary for me to endure such pain in order to know what healing truly felt like.

At the time, those around me allowed me the freedom to be who I was and walk each step of the way in my own shoes knowing one day I would receive new ones. Today it is my sincere intention to help others find their own when they ask for them.

 Sometimes the beauty is in the undoing and allowing the unfoldment of good to take place.

It is my intention to share this in hopes in may serve as a support for you or someone you may know. Please do not take this as direct advice to your situation; it is only my way of sharing my thoughts and experience. You have your own guide right within you and if you are quiet and listen you will know exactly what to do.

Thank you for being here,


  • December 4, 2014 - 7:50 am

    mel - I’ve been struggling with something like this lately. Someone very close to me is in a relationship with somebody that I believe is so wrong for her. For many reasons. Mainly because he’s everything not on the list of what she wants. It’s so difficult to see because I’m imagining her either wasting precious years when she could be finding her true soul mate, or she will end up divorced and broke with children… I love and care so much for her and not intervening is so difficult but I try. Thank you for once again, a wonderful thought provoking post with heart. Big hugs to you! Mel xxReplyCancel

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