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Have you ever heard if you leave your nets new ones will appear? My heart whispered to me for so many years and I was given countless opportunities to leave my nets but I chose to stay in bed with fear and control. After all, I lived the American Dream. I had a successful husband, a nice house that resembled an art gallery, maids, drivers and VIP access to just about any event anywhere in the world. From the outside it appeared I had it all but in fact I had nothing. My core was gone, my mind full of thoughts that made me tremble and very little meaning in my life which I later began to crave.

My story isn’t one where I jumped out and hoped for a miracle. I was thrown out, softly. With a divorce on my plate I knew I had a hard road ahead of me. I was lost without him, without us. It is my understanding that when life throws us a hard ball we have two choices, to either make it soft and mold it into the ball we want, or throw it back into the field and forget about taking a closer look. I chose to soften, lean in and walk through the dark days and nights.

Luckily, I had help. I had Moe. I had a life coach that lived with me for months to help me stay mindful and get back on my feet. Now, four years later I am able to stand on my own and go to the silent places within for my answers and guidance.

Pain to Purpose

After many months and years of practicing going “within” for my reassurance, supply and love I have come to a place where I can share my experience, strength and hope with others. It is clearer to me than ever that sharing my story is my purpose, my assignment here on earth which has been birthed in the form of my book, Lost on the PGA and European Tours that will officially be released on January 1, 2016.

I have come to know that there is a net within all of us and it is always open and ready to support us. It is my higher self. It is greater than me. It is what gets me up every morning. It is my passion. It is what drives me. It is what makes all of us who we are behind the make-up,clothes, instagram accounts and financial status.

My message to you is simple, if you find yourself wondering why life has unfolded the way it has lean in….love the pain, create a net of compassion for yourself no matter what. When your mind wants to take control let go consciously. Let go again and again because when it comes to the mind, nothing of a deeper meaning is going to make sense. Release the need to understand everything and watch your assignment show up.

The biggest lesson I have come to learn is that turning pain into purpose is essential for total healing. The only way I can help others is to do the work myself and it is in moments like this I am so grateful to have listened to that still, small voice inside of me.

As long as we are aware we can be of service and when we are of service to others, we shift the vibration of the world.

 

Blessings,

 

Jocelyn

 

  • December 18, 2015 - 4:24 pm

    Moe - Love met love when we met….ReplyCancel

  • December 18, 2015 - 5:26 pm

    Nancy Culbertson - Jocelyn, Words cannot express my gratitude for you, your life stories, and how beautifully you share with us. You are a beautiful light in this world. Thank you. Merry Christmas!!!!ReplyCancel

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Writing a book about my personal struggles has opened a door within my heart. For many years I never created a place just for me, a space of solitude and a sanctuary for my inner voice to rest and whisper the truth. Today, I realize more than ever how important it is to leave a place within my inner life for me.

You will read more about this in my book but I wanted to share a few thoughts here on the blog. As some of you know my heart used to beat to the drum of a man I shared my life with for ten years. I gave my entire heart and voice to this man and not because he asked me to but because I never wanted to be abandoned or left for another woman. The fear of being alone gripped my inner life so tightly I felt as though I was being strangled by my own mind.

Excerpts from Lost on the PGA and European Tours

If you have been to this place of despair, you know it’s real. Despair is real. Some people might say that being curled up in an expensive bed in a multi-million dollar mansion was hardly a place of despair. I understand that viewpoint. Just hear me. Despair is despair whether you are living in luxury or are homeless on a sidewalk. Despair is deep inside and has very little to do with what things look like on the outside. There’s no winning with any talks about despair. It’s a dark place. It’s hell. When the lights go out, it doesn’t matter where you are. There is no darkness like the cave of despair.

In those moments, I learned I had nothing to hold on to. After all the expensive clothes in my closet, travels to every part of the world, meetings with famous people, and a life full of luxuries, I finally reached deep inside myself for comfort, for understanding, for hope, for refuge—and I was empty.

Serenity

When I had to pick up what was left of me after a shocking divorce, which shattered me in many pieces, I learned how to search within myself and find that one place I could migrate to when life got hard and cold.

I always believed there was a church within myself, a place where I could catch my breath and feel the overflowing sense of warmth that could only come from the silence that enveloped me.

I had to learn to become still. I had to practice being silent. It took me a long time to believe that I was worthy of peace, love and joy. After all, my husband who wanted other things in life had just left me, and I found it hard to believe I could be loved by anyone.

In the silence and stillness I was able to allow my inner guide to steer me in the direction towards self -completeness and wholeness. This took years and many moments of near breakdowns but I did it.

What goes on in the inner interior of someone’s life is not easy to explain but I have you can sense the fragrance in my writings.

There is so much going on in life. Days are filled with to do lists and yet it is easy to not slow down and retreat to that place within our being that is just for us. It is a small little pocket in the soul that feels like a warm blanket on a cold night. It is an eternal flame that is always lit to light the way in the darkness. I don’t need a perfect ship, nor do I don’t need an entire crew on board but I will benefit from a finely tuned compass.

I will never give this space to anyone but myself, and I am grateful to be married to someone today that appreciates it. I need it to survive all the universal beliefs and thought forms I experience on a daily basis that create blocks in my life.

I invite you to soak this post in if you wish and morph it to what works for you. My writings are in no way meant to advise you. You have your own answers that are closer to you than your breathing. I am simply here to share what works for me and help where I can.

It is my sincere intention that you feel encouraged, supported and loved no matter what stage of life you are in.

If you are interested in purchasing my book I will be releasing a post next week sharing all the information necessary. Thank you all for staying patient and supporting me as you do. I am eternally grateful.

With love and gratitude,

Jocelyn

  • December 9, 2015 - 10:56 am

    Lucy - Looking forward to reading your book!ReplyCancel

  • December 10, 2015 - 11:23 am

    Anastasia - That process of growth was worth following as I was inspired to do some of the hard work myself! Thank you so much for sharing these important moments of you life – reading your book has made me a better person!
    Love, A. XOReplyCancel

    • December 18, 2015 - 1:38 pm

      Jocelyn - You are so right…hard work is always worth it in the end. Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. JxxReplyCancel

  • December 11, 2015 - 8:32 pm

    Mel - It’s interesting how you write that despair is despair, regardless of your surroundings. I’ve always believed that seeing celebrities whom you imagine have it all are seemingly miserable. You’re so strong for seeing beyond this Jocelyn. I simply can’t wait to read this book. From what I can gather, it’s going to be hugely successful and contains what people are truly searching for. M xxReplyCancel

    • December 18, 2015 - 1:37 pm

      Jocelyn - Thank you, Mel! I will be shipping one to you in a week! Lots of love to you sweet friend. JxxReplyCancel

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The one question I always ask myself at the end of writing a piece for not only this blog but other platforms is, “am I teaching or sharing?”. If there is one thing I am super sensitive to it’s the style of presenting the material I write.

Personally, I find it difficult read a blog post where the writer refuses to acknowledge their own shadow and stands on a pedestal as if they aren’t human and reign queen or king of perfection. How is that style going to help the reader if all they do is listen to what someone else thinks they should do? Isn’t this going to further the separation amongst people even more? When we read that someone we admire has similar challenges that we do does it not make us feel more oneness?

I digress. So, is a piece written from the sole basis of a personal sense of “I” not as worthy as a post written from the standpoint of “you?”

For instance: I read something last week that read “If you suffer from discouragement than this post is for you.” I immediately felt tightness in my neck which is a signal to me something isn’t sitting right within me. What I think the writer meant was, “If you are like me and suffer from discouragement than this blog post might be helpful.” Doesn’t that small shift make a huge difference? Just a couple of words can wrap our arms around the reader and give them a big hug before reading material they may be sensitive to.

Personal Style of Writing

This post is very near and dear to me because I am an example of someone who used to listen to other people diligently and do exactly what they told me. As you can imagine, that way of living got me nowhere, fast. I found myself in every rabbit hole with french fries, crying on the floor of my bathroom asking for help. You may think this sounds pathetic, but I bet some of you reading this know that place, too.

When I walked away from the people, who tried to teach me and found Moe, the one person who never advised me and only led me to my answers I vowed I would never give advice again. I would like to say in the last five years I have never given straight up advice but I haven’t. I make it a practice to write from my perspective and share what I have learned. I do hope it makes a difference.

When I occasionally use what I call a “teaching style” of writing such as “you will have to do this or you will find this” I feel inauthentic. When I say, “we can learn how to (fill in the blank)” it still doesn’t feel aligned with my inner style of writing. So, I will stick with sharing from what I have learned, and the pea sized wisdom I have been given.

I am grateful to be here, and I hope you know that within you, behind your heart is an opening that holds every answer you need to live life to the fullest.

I would love to know how you feel about a post written from a sharing standpoint. How do you feel when someone tries to teach you? Do you like that? Of course I am only referring to self-development personal discovery material, not photoshop and photography!

Have a lovely day,

Jocelyn

  • November 28, 2015 - 6:06 pm

    Nicole - I agree wholeheartedly with your approach. I do not respond well to preachers, but respond exceptionally well to shared stories and experiences. It is such an important detail as we all grow and learn together and I have never heard someone articulate this idea out loud although I’ve recognized it for myselfReplyCancel

  • November 28, 2015 - 6:11 pm

    Nicole - (Oops, accidentally hit post comment before I was finished)
    I recognized this for myself years ago. Thank you for saying it out loud!! It brings peace to hear this somehow.ReplyCancel

    • December 5, 2015 - 4:26 pm

      Jocelyn - Hi Nicole,

      I am so glad this brought you peace. Wishing you a lovely weekend, Jocelyn xReplyCancel

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Hello! It is lovely to be back here sharing again. My very much needed break has brought clarity and focus to this little space of mine that I so gladly share with you.

Please note the content you read here is simply my sharing, it is not meant to be advice. I hope my words are encouraging to you should you find yourself in similar situations.

Forgiveness is a delicate topic, and I sincerely hope this post will serve as a reminder to all of us that true forgiveness can change the course of our inner lives, open our eyes to the real truth and give us a sense of oneness.

Years ago I began the great search, the deep inner one not many prefer to share apart from me it seems. Some days were dark and painful but I never gave up. I wanted inner freedom, peace and a sense of belonging in a world that felt so foreign. Basically, I was unwinding years of confused cords in my mind and heart and there was only one way to come out the other side and that was to enter to unknown and dive in head first.

Forgiveness

For me to move forward in a state of love, I had to learn to forgive not only others but myself. It occurred to me my definition of forgiveness was cloudy and far from clear. My personality would get in the way, causing a blockade for healing. After learning when forgiving according to my principles for life made a significant change inwardly, my eyes were opened, and I could see the truth behind it.

If I continued to judge someone silently or attack their personality, my ability to forgive them is no longer an option. However, when I lean towards my principle for life which is to treat others the way I want to be treated my inner landscape changes, and I instantly feel as though I am making the change I want to see in the world.

The moment we shift our focus to the principle, the personality disappears long enough to grasp the reality of what is. 

This “formula” requires two things. First, it requires us to live by principle NOT personality. Secondly, it requires mind discipline. I have found it is easy for the mind not to want to forgive and process the wrong doings of another or myself over and over again. For me, the definition of insanity is not being able to forgive myself or others on any given day and living in the discomfort of stuffing my feelings.

For example, let’s say someone shares with me their opinion (without my asking) and mentions things about me that simply aren’t true. I could easily allow my mind to jump out in front of me and accuse them of their behavior and point out how mean they are but that is meeting them with the same energy as they are dishing out. (FYI I know this is hard but it is essential) To live by principle rather than personality would look like this: Allow the other person to share what they feel is necessary or until I have had enough. When they are finished, I would decide whether or not this relationship would be worth saving, some are, some are not. I would ask myself if there is anything that needs to be shared. Sometimes, it is not even worth trying to discuss things with others who are so adamant regardless of how much it hurts to hear negative things. I have found myself in the firing zone more times that I would like to admit and the hardest thing for me to say is, “thank you” but it is also the most loving. Why thank them? Because it is true that I am grateful to someone giving me the opportunity to practice forgiveness. I forgive people based on my principles, that’s all. 

If you wish to try this way of approaching forgiveness, I invite you to remain open and know that there is no “one way” to forgive.

Wishing you all a wonderful day filled with peaceful moments,

Jocelyn x

  • November 4, 2015 - 6:18 am

    Anna - You inspire me so. Thank you for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • November 7, 2015 - 12:07 am

    Mel - Welcome back Jocelyn. It’s true that we need that time away to be fresh again with our thoughts and ideas. Forgiveness is probably one of the most challenging things we face as human emotions, it’s also incredible how free we feel once we do it! Still working on a few of them though.. xReplyCancel

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Well, the time has come where I feel a blank canvas on the inside just waiting for something new to be painted. You may remember a post where I shared having the feeling of renovating a few things inside my house, and it seems those have made their way back into my inner home. I need a break. A real one.

Succulents - Carmel, CABlogging can get stagnant for me, and I feel tired and bored with it at the moment.  I wake up every morning and ask for a subject to make its way to my heart then my mind, but lately I am blank. Therefor, the only way I know how to refresh it is to take a little pause, enjoy the days just the way they are and refocus. I trust something wonderful and meaningful will come from this break so it begins now!

I will, of course, be on Instagram and planning on being back here November 1st.

Wishing you all a pleasant day,

Jocelyn x

  • October 15, 2015 - 9:53 am

    Anya - Hey Jocelyn,

    I totally know the feeling. Sometimes blogging becomes more of a task than pleasurable. Take the time you need and we will see you when you’re back. 🙂

    Hope you are all happy and well.

    Love

    A xxReplyCancel

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