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A Formula for Forgiveness

Hello! It is lovely to be back here sharing again. My very much needed break has brought clarity and focus to this little space of mine that I so gladly share with you.

Please note the content you read here is simply my sharing, it is not meant to be advice. I hope my words are encouraging to you should you find yourself in similar situations.

Forgiveness is a delicate topic, and I sincerely hope this post will serve as a reminder to all of us that true forgiveness can change the course of our inner lives, open our eyes to the real truth and give us a sense of oneness.

Years ago I began the great search, the deep inner one not many prefer to share apart from me it seems. Some days were dark and painful but I never gave up. I wanted inner freedom, peace and a sense of belonging in a world that felt so foreign. Basically, I was unwinding years of confused cords in my mind and heart and there was only one way to come out the other side and that was to enter to unknown and dive in head first.


For me to move forward in a state of love, I had to learn to forgive not only others but myself. It occurred to me my definition of forgiveness was cloudy and far from clear. My personality would get in the way, causing a blockade for healing. After learning when forgiving according to my principles for life made a significant change inwardly, my eyes were opened, and I could see the truth behind it.

If I continued to judge someone silently or attack their personality, my ability to forgive them is no longer an option. However, when I lean towards my principle for life which is to treat others the way I want to be treated my inner landscape changes, and I instantly feel as though I am making the change I want to see in the world.

The moment we shift our focus to the principle, the personality disappears long enough to grasp the reality of what is. 

This “formula” requires two things. First, it requires us to live by principle NOT personality. Secondly, it requires mind discipline. I have found it is easy for the mind not to want to forgive and process the wrong doings of another or myself over and over again. For me, the definition of insanity is not being able to forgive myself or others on any given day and living in the discomfort of stuffing my feelings.

For example, let’s say someone shares with me their opinion (without my asking) and mentions things about me that simply aren’t true. I could easily allow my mind to jump out in front of me and accuse them of their behavior and point out how mean they are but that is meeting them with the same energy as they are dishing out. (FYI I know this is hard but it is essential) To live by principle rather than personality would look like this: Allow the other person to share what they feel is necessary or until I have had enough. When they are finished, I would decide whether or not this relationship would be worth saving, some are, some are not. I would ask myself if there is anything that needs to be shared. Sometimes, it is not even worth trying to discuss things with others who are so adamant regardless of how much it hurts to hear negative things. I have found myself in the firing zone more times that I would like to admit and the hardest thing for me to say is, “thank you” but it is also the most loving. Why thank them? Because it is true that I am grateful to someone giving me the opportunity to practice forgiveness. I forgive people based on my principles, that’s all. 

If you wish to try this way of approaching forgiveness, I invite you to remain open and know that there is no “one way” to forgive.

Wishing you all a wonderful day filled with peaceful moments,

Jocelyn x

  • November 4, 2015 - 6:18 am

    Anna - You inspire me so. Thank you for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • November 7, 2015 - 12:07 am

    Mel - Welcome back Jocelyn. It’s true that we need that time away to be fresh again with our thoughts and ideas. Forgiveness is probably one of the most challenging things we face as human emotions, it’s also incredible how free we feel once we do it! Still working on a few of them though.. xReplyCancel

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