My head has been quite full these last two months with the question of purpose and living a meaningful life. I cannot help but sometimes wonder if I am honoring my souls purpose or if my ego is leading me down a path of becoming “popular”. It’s not that I have a longing to be famous, but I do want to be useful and add more love into the world. It is a natural tendency for me to mentally figure things out and analyze them to death. Inevitably, I always land in the same place: the silent and still point within myself where the answers are always awakened and revealed.
In my contemplative silent moment I was led to the answer. I can only describe this feeling as a warm blanket over my inner life wrapping itself around every fiber of my heart and soul. My mind is quiet and still for what seems like eternity and I hear with my inner ear the words, go forward and just love. So, this is what I will do and it begins with this blog. Today, I will infuse love into the world by sharing my experience here on how I learned translate disappointment with love.
In my thirty-five years of living I have had my fair share of disappointing moments and while I have done a lot of intensive work in this area, I appreciate the significance it has in my life. There were times when my mind would spin and spiral downwards whenever disappointment snuck in the side door.
I began to feel the desire to change and a release from the negative feelings disappointment brought along so it seemed obvious to begin understanding why I was feeling this emotion that literally took over my entire day.
It became clear my expectations of others and myself were simply out of alignment with reality. There were times when I just couldn’t get over that someone hadn’t called me back after a week when I considered the topic we were discussing “important”. My day would be filled with constant thoughts of disappointment not to mention the big question, “what is wrong with me, why haven’t they called back?” When it came to feel disappointed in myself well, that is where it got U-G-L-Y. Shaming myself and degrading my self worth was rife, and by the time the sun went down I was in a million pieces.
My daily practice is now to pause, breathe and align myself with the inner stillness we all carry within our inner interior. In the beginning I found it nearly impossible to unleash my mind and let it go, as it had become my master and fought tooth and nail to stay that way. After a period of months it became natural to consciously breath and take a moment to practice the principle of seeing disappointment as what IS and not making it anymore than that. The practice of seeing through appearances with outer eye is something I strive to do every single minute, hour and day in order to experience harmony in my inner and outer life. Ultimately, embracing the emotions that fill my mind make me aware that there is more peace to be experienced and that is the daily practice in itself .
When I began translating negative emotions of any kind into love I felt the shift, the freedom and the ability to live by Grace. The kind of love I am talking about is not a Valentine love. It is not lust either. The love I am speaking of comes from the soul, the place where inner peace flows out from within and soothes every moment with soft notes of harmony.
It is amazing how one emotion can be the driving force in moving us forward, isn’t it?
I realize this approach to emotions may seem unconventional to the outer world AND I have come to know when the faculties of the soul are on the field there is nothing but inner peace to be experienced.
Wishing you and everyone in your day a beautiful string of moments,